Sunday Morning

By Kathy O’Dwyer

Sunday mornings are full of solitude for me, not an unpleasant thing after the bustle of the work week.  I roused myself early, peeking out the windows to see soft, fat flakes of wet snow coming down, the kind  that are delicious to catch on the tongue and even better for packing.  I quickly showered, brushed my teeth and dried my hair, dressing in bulky warm socks and tan corduroy jeans.  I threw on a black fleece hoodie, not exactly a fashion statement but these days I am more into function than fashion.  I decided against pulling on boots, choosing instead my black moccasins, the top of each shoe studded with tiny black points laced together with black thread to form a heart.   These shoes are fun to wear, combining the comfort valued by the old with just a touch of youth, and I felt good heading out into the snow bundled in my long brown coat, hat and gloves.I crossed the street heading east towards Halsted Street.  Walking along the edge of the athletic field, I started to say my usual silent morning prayer when I was interrupted by the cawing of a crow.  I stopped and looked around but could not spot the crow.    He must have realized he now had an audience as he immediately stopped his calling and hid from view.  When a crow caws, it signals the secret magic of creation.   They are powerful birds, watchful and strong.   The color of night, they are a symbol of birth bursting forth from the darkness of the womb.  Their magic has been recognized throughout the ages by all civilizations and cultures.   “Aho” I offered to the hidden crow, a Native American acknowledgement.  The snow drifted lightly against the grass of the field and the silence felt deep and surprising.  It is never quiet in the city but this morning seemed an exception.   I gave up my morning prayer trusting that the Divine would accept my appreciation for the beauty of the day as gratitude.  Crossing Halsted, I walked up to Hash Browns and went in.  A small neighborhood breakfast and lunch place, it is a cash only spot run by family.   A tiny waitress greeted me.  Situated just off the UIC campus, the restaurant’s waitresses change with the semesters but are always the same with their hip slung jeans, tight layered t-shirts and sloppy ponytails, pieces of hair tucked behind their ears.  I hoped for and was rewarded with the little window table tucked just behind the entryway giving me a perfect view of the snowy cobbled-stoned street.   I pull a book out of my pocket, happy to have the natural light for reading.  I looked at the menu and thought for a second maybe I should try something new but the morning was too perfect and perfection required the usual, a spinach omelette with sweet potato hash browns, no toast, and chamomile citrus tea.  The Urban Shaman is a book I gave to a friend to read before I finished it myself.   Now that it had been returned, I started once again at the beginning.   The book explores and teaches the Hawaiian Way and I found it interesting in its approach.   Choices are neither good nor bad, but rather it is the thoughts post-decision that affect the outcome.  Intention directs the course of what will happen.   Things rarely go according to plan but if your thinking is right, things will go better.    I sat back, my belly full of eggs, and looked out the window.  I made the decision Saturday night that I would treat myself to a morning breakfast at my favorite restaurant.  When I woke this morning and rolled over to see the snow, a thought of not going out flashed through my mind but I replaced it immediately with the thought of how pleasant it would be to sit at the restaurant window, sipping my tea and reading.  I rose immediately, no rushing involved, just choosing those things that gave me pleasure – the warm socks, the soft jeans and the happy shoes.  I appreciated the beauty of the morning and was rewarded with my hoped for table.  What if I could do this every day?  Start every day pushing negative thoughts aside and choosing instead to operate from a place of peace? After conducting a meditation and opening the Akashic Records at my last Wanna Write class at Lynn’s house, I emailed Bernadette with excitement.   Bernadette is the Director of Equilibrium, a center I frequently go to for classes on energy education.  The meditation at the writing class was a small thing, but it felt so natural to me, the ease of it was amazing.  I told Bernadette I thought about starting a meditation group.   Let’s talk!”  she responded, “I would love to have your energy here and I think it would be a wonderful offering to my clients.”   And I was happy.But a day later fear set in.   Would people really come to hear me guide a meditation?  What credentials do I have to do this?  Should I open the Records or include Reiki in the course of the time and how much time should I set?  What kind of value should I assess, what value do I bring to the table?  My thinking was starting to go wrong, fear and worry of disappointment setting in and I had yet to even conduct the first session!    I did not respond to Bernadette out of fear.I left the restaurant and started the walk back home.  As I turned the corner to the athletic field, the crow cawed.  Once again I looked up and this time I spotted the perched right above me on top of the red brick dormitory.  He cocked his head down, looking at me with one eye in the way that birds do.   His black feathers were majestic against the white of the sky and he cawed out to me again before lightly taking wing.   He flew down, circling just above me.  He slowly spiraled around me several times, letting the wind determine his height and rate of speed.  I stood still caught in his spell.  Suddenly the wind lifted him high, and after circling one more time, his wings engaged and he took to full-powered flight.  When I arrived home, I sat down at my computer and sent Bernadette an email.  “I would love to talk to you about this.   Here is my vision of what the class would look like.   When can we talk?”

2 Comments

  1. Comment by Tom

    Posted on October 20, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    Why do you doubt yourself? Of course you have the credentials to lead us in meditation or anything else you choose. You have chosen the path of peace and light and I can only hope there are more souls like you out there to take us all into the new age. YOU GO GIRL!

  2. Comment by Tom

    Posted on October 20, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    Why do you doubt yourself? Of course you have the credentials to lead us in meditation or anything else you choose. You have chosen the path of peace and light and I can only hope there are more souls like you out there to take us all into the new age. YOU GO GIRL!

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